Rarely thank or return favors
You rarely thank people or return favors, treating help and kindness as something you’re entitled to until people stop showing up for you.
Mean to reciprocate; avoid them out of guilt
You feel grateful in the moment and mean to reciprocate, but put it off until it feels awkwardly late—then avoid the person out of guilt or offer a rushed, generic “thanks” when you need something else.
Thank people when it’s straightforward
In a calm week, you remember to thank people and return favors when it’s straightforward. Under deadline pressure or fatigue, you become purely transactional and forget to acknowledge the people carrying the load with you.
Specific thanks built into the workflow
You build appreciation into your workflow—thank-you notes sent immediately, reminders to reciprocate favors, and built-in recognition habits in projects you lead. Even during weeks when you’re struggling, you thank people specifically—naming what they did and why it mattered—even for routine help.
Thank the hardest people, face to face
You deliberately go out of your way to thank the people hardest to thank (a rival, a harsh critic, someone you dislike owing a favor to) specifically and face-to-face. When a crisis or rough patch reveals who stood by you—or exposes where someone felt taken for granted—you permanently upgrade how you show up for and reciprocate in those relationships.